Wheels on Her Butt

I have always made a joke about the origin of my mobility. I love Road Trips and since retiring have lived in more places than anyone my age should have lived. It's not an isolated trait. As I track my family history for the past couple of generations I find a family that doesn't really stay put for long.

Speaking for my generation (and my experience only) the following will trace the various 'nests' I've lived in.

When my very young parents (16 and 18) were married they built an adobe house on land owned by my dad's sister @  El Tejon in Oildale. It was the first house I have pictures of living in and the adobe still stands today. It is slightly modifed from the original structure but has held up well for 75 years.

For awhile we lived in Highland Park, near Standard School, where I remember something about a white picket fence and Peggy's introduction to cactus needles. 

I stayed with Grandma and Grandpa Hatfield in Fairfield the summer before moving to Francis Street. We moved into the little house about the time I started Elementary School 1942 and moved to 1016 Woodrow in Oildale around 1947.

We left Oildale in 1949. Mom and us kids stayed with the Hatfields in Vallejo while dad lived with his brother Ed in Mountain View and found a job working in sheet rock. 6 months later dad found a rental home on Selo Drive and we lived in Sunnyvale beginning in 1950. Peggy and I left home when we got married. Bob went into the Air Force around 1960.

Frank and I moved to Casmalia to work at Vandenburg AFB in 1960-1963. Mom and dad moved into our home on Canyon Road in Los Altos Hills then bought the house at 1010 Linda Drive when we came home to finish up at San Jose State.

In 1965 Frank and I bought the house where Karin was born on Stonebrook in Los Altos Hills.

In 1974 Frank and I separated and I moved to a rental property we owned on Quince Avenue in Sunnyvale then a year later I bought the house on Metler Court in Saratoga.

In 1987 I sold Metler Court and moved to Pollard Road in Los Gatos where I lived until retiring in 1995. From 1995 to 1996 I lived in a 36' RV shuttling between Campbell and Morgan Hill. And in November 1996 I moved to Carole's in Milwaukie, Oregon then to Village on 7th, Vancouver, Washington.

Village on 7th was my home from December 1996 to August 2000 when I took a sabbatical to help as a caregiver for Frank. After returning to Vancouver 9 months later I seemed to be happy until August 2002 when in response to the death of a close friend I made an ill reasoned decision and moved to Dayton, Washington for 9 months. From there I moved to Dayton, Nevada for a year or more before moving back to Autumn Chase in Vancouver, Washington. 

Vancouver was good until 2009. When my lease expired in April I moved to the Arcata Townhouse we'd bought when Karin went to Humboldt State. Karin and I renovated the townhouse where I'd planned to stay put but when Karin married and moved to Sacramento I saw my chance to live in civilization again. Karin and Phil bought the townhouse I now live in here in Citrus Heights.

I don't want to EVER move again. I'm finding it hard to believe I am here for the long term but eventually I will accept reality and settle down properly.

I can satisfy my mobility needs by taking those long road trips that I love as both the meditation opportunity they provide and the adventure of discovery.

Special Relationships

She was the "Duchess of Desire". Once a HOT number but now lacking libido she could still fantasize about what she might do with a willing and available partner. Too fearful to act on impulse she set some firm boundaries and stuck to them.

They agreed they had a special relationship in spite of a 40 year age difference. They were drawn to each other by the many things they had in common. Home improvements, road trips, errands, meals, movies, literature and conversation filled the time they spent together. It was a warm, comfortable, easy relationship -- like marriage yet without the sex.

"I love your intellect and your compassion for all", she said as they debated the nature/existence of God. “You have wisdom and understanding far beyond your years.”

"Your library is impressive", he remarked as he selected a book to read from while sharing the ‘blessing of the juice’.

"Ready to run some errands?", he asked as he picked up the car keys. "I'm sure we can make an adventure out of our trip to Costco. The coffee shop awaits us and perhaps a quick chess game."

"Star Trek: Wrath of Khan and The Voyage Home arrived today from Net Flix", she informed him, as they drove toward town; "Shall we make it a day for a Double Feature and a special dinner? I have a wonderful recipe for Chinese Chicken Curry from the 1000 Recipe Chinese Cookbook, I guarantee you will be satiated."

Note: Add chicken thighs, celery, onions, carrots, chicken broth and curry powder to the regular list of fish, eggs, organic produce, nuts, that she keeps on the iPhone.

No time today for working on the backyard fence they were rebuilding
together.

Over dinner the conversation invariably shifted to styles of social interaction, "l am sorry, my sweet, but I prefer isolation to all that social networking", she said, as she turned down yet another opportunity he offered her to get out and about. He was clearly frustrated with her stubborn unwillingness to put herself out there. "I really thought you would enjoy the Zen Meditation Group, it's a perfect opportunity for centering yourself and for meeting interesting people", he explained. She had never shared her very real fear that once she got into that cross legged pose and held it for 30 minutes, it would be impossible to pick herself up from the floor.

"Ready for the movies?", he asked as he dried the last dish and put away the cutlery. Now the FILM CRITICS emerged as they evaluated the story line and observed the skill of the writers, actors, director... She had never seen either movie. He had the dialogue memorized.

"William Shatner never fails to amaze me", she said. Since reading his
Autobiography/Memoir over the past two months and discussing his
personality and breadth of talent, they both had a real appreciation of his acting skills. In fact, they organized the Net Flix queue to include all the Star Trek and Boston Legal episodes. "Between Clint Eastwood and William Shatner we've got our available dinner and a movie evenings all set up, I just don't think we will have time to finish what we started," she observed." I'd still like to share with you the experience of Mt Lassen and Mt Shasta from the back of a camera. We could camp out with the dogs and just get away from it all one more time before you leave the country."

His preparation for teaching English in the Ukraine was absorbing more and more of his free time. Add to that his love interest, meeting up with friends, catering and house sitting and the time they could share was becoming shorter and shorter.

He often teased her about her codependency and neediness -- her willingness to make him the ‘center‘ of her Universe. That sexual tension that comes up between male and female respects no age differences. She had used that attraction and the
‘transference’ it produced as a means to work out old issues with the former men in her life. It complicated their close friendship. They sometimes discussed it but he seemed resentful when the issues that surfaced caused her to react with anger. She fully understood what was going on here but failed to communicate it adequately.

"Let's burn some of the old fence wood before I leave", he leaned forward smiling and revealed, “I'll be spending the night with her."

"Get your hand off my knee", said the ‘Duchess’, as she stared reflectively into the fire. “It’s always her, Her, HER!”

Pets I Have Owned and Loved

Maxwell Squeak, Dappled Dachshund. Given to me by Harry, the maintenance man at Autumn Chase in Vancouver, WA. Sweet, talkative, dependent with separation issues. Max shares my nightly bed. Constant companion of Minnie, friend of Rosie and Willa Brooks.

Minerva Athena Malone, AKC Miniature Schnauzer. Bought her for just $200 from Mary (the unethical breeder) in Walla Walla, WA. Min was 6 weeks old when I brought her home to live with me and Bigs. Large for the breed and with an incredible underbite. She’s both loving and comical. Sleeps with me and Max upstairs in the queen size bed. Major adventure was when she slipped outside unnoticed and roamed the complex for at least an hour before I missed her. Favorite activity is running on the beach. Greatest fear – the dog groomer. Minnie is a great travelling companion, seems definitely attached to Max and we all share the nightly bed.

Bigsy Malone, AKC Miniature Pinscher. Bought him ‘used’ in 1998 for $200. Very territorial – had to be house trained at 2 years old. Now I believe he had the beginning symptoms of diabetes. Diagnosed in 2001 he gets 2 shots--6 units each of insulin each day. Before moving from Vancouver, WA, he walked up to 4 miles each day. Bigs had cataracts and was pretty much sightless toward the end of his life. He had no trouble getting around and is characteristic of his breed. Got along real well with Bob Cat Shriver. International traveler – he’s gone with me to Canada on 5 trips now. Bigsy died in January, 2005, complications of Diabetes. His ashes are in the green ginger jar near the TV.

Bob Cat, black and white long hair, Tuxedo. Rescued from the street in Campbell when his buddy (an orange cat) was run over and killed. Very loving, but demanding of food. Bob would actually bite my leg and drag me back downstairs if there was no food in his bowl at 5 am. Our 1st adventure was a trip to Utah. He started the trip with the name Robbie, named for Robin, but soon earned the name BOB. What an irritating ass! When I sold the condo Bob moved with me into a 36 foot RV. Home was anywhere the mommy went. He learned to back into the covers when the nights were cold. Hated it when the RV had to move. Bob and I spent 10 years in each other’s company. He lived with me in Los Gatos, Campbell, Morgan Hill, CA, in Milwaukie, OR and Vancouver, WA, then Los Altos Hills, CA, and back to WA. Bob finally started failing in 2001 and once diagnosed with Feline Aids I decided to have him put down. His ashes rest in an orchard in Vancouver. He will always have a place in my heart.

She’s a Pepper, AKC Brittany Spaniel. Sweetest puppy ever! Did not do well in the condo. I ‘owned’ her jointly with dad. Pepper was a Show and Field Champion. After Nellie came along Pepper went to live with dad. Had one litter (one pup survived) then died of liver cancer as her mom Pepi and ½ sister Ginger had died before her. I will never make that choice again to give up a puppy I have raised. Too hard to see the expression in her eyes when I came to visit and didn’t take her with me as I left.

Nellie, English Pointer. Rescued from the Rinconada shopping center. Couldn’t find the owner of this purebred 9 month old dog so Robin and I took on the task of seeing that she was exercised daily. We sold her conditionally for just one week to a man who turned out to be very abusive to her. Once she came back she would stay with us through thick and thin. When Robin married, Nellie went to live with her and Tom. Nellie lived with Tom, in Modesto, until she succumbed to cancer.

Jonathan Bailey or JB, AKC Brittany. Dad gave him to me in 1985. Just 8 weeks old he ran in front of a car which ran over his front forearm. Many $ later ($2000) he walked with a distinctive gait. No longer eligible (or up to) shows and field trials he became the dog of the house. He lived in the kitchen during the day while I was at work and Karin was at school. This dog lifted my depression and gave me hours of happiness. Eventually I gave him to a good home upon moving to the condo. He walked out of my Life without a backward glance!

Patches, Benji type mixed breed, smoke and beige. An unexpected result of Muffin’s indiscretion, Patches became Karin’s little dog. He spent his life in the backyard. Loved to chase Karin around the pool. Had to find him a new home when we moved to the condo.

Kona, Puss, and various Siamese cats. Karin took on the care of male and female cats belonging to her friend, Rich. Kona was one of the unsold litter of kittens we ended up with. Later on Kona became the mother of Puss and of Boots. Kona and Puss were special cats born in 1986 or 1987 who lived into the millennium. They were born on Metler Court, moved to the condo in Los Gatos, then to Humboldt with Karin and finally to Los Altos Hills. Both died within a few months of each other in 2002.

Muffin, Benji type, blond benefited from grooming and a poodle like cut. Wandered in one hot day and Albert gave her food and water. She stayed from 1975 to 1977 then moved to Sacramento and eventually got lost again.

Sara, Siamese cat. Found in a drain pipe with her litter of kittens, Sara became our beloved cat. Moved with Karin and I to Sunnyvale in 1974 then to Metler Court in 1975. Sara had several kittens before getting fixed. One major problem when I ran over her the night my mother in law went to the hospital with a heart attack. Although her pelvis was broken she recovered to live another few years. Sara just disappeared one day in 1987. Always wondered if the neighbor trapped her when she used his flower garden as a toilet.

Hrothgar von Robert or Duke, AKC German Boxer. Duke began life as a junkyard dog. Frank bought him for me at my insistence in 1964. 80 pounds, he loved to run with Sara, the canyon neighbor’s Doberman. Duke was an outside dog who ended up sharing the dog house with Hansel the bantam rooster. This was not the 1st cross species symbiotic relationship of my experience. The rooster was feisty and Duke would step on him to show just who was boss. Hansel moved in after losing his tail feathers to a raccoon. At first he roosted in the pine tree on a limb above the dog house. We’ll never know why he subsequently moved right into the dog house.

Racky, the baby raccoon. One day (1959) Frank’s dad found a litter of baby raccoons in a dresser drawer in the barn. We took one home to raise. At first I kept him in a cage until we could tame him a bit. After awhile he was comfortable in the house. Once he started ripping up the upholstery with his ‘killer’ claws he was relegated to the outdoors. He and the black cat became a pack. They would lie in a shopping cart for hours with the raccoon stroking the cat. He finally left with a pack of wild coons who regularly ate on the back porch.

A Spiritual Point of View

The Everchanging Divine Presence 1

Judaism originated from paganism.

Christianity originated from Judaism.

Catholicism is Christianity.

Therefore Catholicism is Pagan.



Basic Logic © PJ Shriver

1 Explanatory Note: This rather cynical and simplistic statement 'materialized' when a Facebook frieNd asked if I was Jewish AND Wiccan AND Catholic.

Erotic Poetry to Michael

As morning breaks
I lie naked and alone,
longing for your touch.
Imagination alone feeds my desire.

Soon we will have our moment.
Lying together in a rumpled bed,
bodies touching head-to-toe.
Sharing warmth, gentleness, passion;
playfully pushing the limits of reality.

Nibbling at your earlobe
I’ll feel the passion rise.
Heart swelling with emotion
to the point of pleasure--pain
Something I have wanted for such
a long time.

To caress your body with kisses,
to hold you deep inside,
to make love to you as if
the world will never end.

©Patricia Shriver 1986

June 1969 Delivery

It’s my due date! 9 months of creating this child inside me and I am ready to see just what I have got here.

I sit up in the bed around 7 a.m. Frank is off taking a shower and getting ready for work this fine Tuesday morning. No contractions. Suddenly I hear a strong PING. My water has broken! I call Kaiser as instructed then wait for Frank to get dressed and take me to the hospital. A towel folded between my legs catches the placental fluid (clear water).

I check into one of the labor rooms and the examinations begin. After 3 doctors have completed their roles I am told that I will be scheduled for a Caesarian but the nurse is told to prepare me as usual for a normal delivery. The jovial oversized black nurse jokes with me as she washes me down and shaves off my pubic hair. The head of OB/GYN wants to take a look for himself and after examining me decides that I will have this breach birth normally. “If we can’t do it there is always an opportunity for surgery later”. I am impatient and disappointed that we aren’t just getting this done with right now. I guess the doctors know best.

By 1 p.m. there still haven’t been any contractions so the doctors begin inducing my labor and before long I am angry and combative as I endure the pain of some very strong contractions. I curse the nurse as she asks if I am OK. Frank chides me, ‘it’s not her fault you are in pain’. I respond that she should know better than to ask when I am obviously stressed and in pain.

Before I know it my doctor is at the side of the bed with a needle large enough for a horse filled with the anesthetic that will desensitize my birth canal to the pain of the contractions. He’s brought 5 Stanford Medical students with him for a teaching moment at the foot of the bed in which I lie spread eagled and nakedly exposed for all the witnesses to this occasion. There is no embarrassment.

By 5 p.m. my cervix is fully dilated. They roll me into the Delivery Room. The episiotomy will be extra deep to accommodate a breach delivery. Another huge needle and the cervical anesthetic is delivered. The doctors begin. The baby needs some repositioning to preclude limb breakage and ease the seriousness of this delivery. One doctor# works carefully with a hand inserted into my uterus while the other doctor# stands behind him cheering him on. Possibly he was also offering his assistance. I will never know. Very dramatic, very stressful as Frank mops the sweat from my brow. Through a mirror I can see the delivery as the baby emerges from my womb.

It’s 7 p.m. as she emerges from the birth canal and the Pediatrician# steps from the corner to take charge of the baby. I hold my breath and listen for the 1st cry -- wahhhhhhh… doesn’t sound all that happy to be into the world. They clean her up a bit then hand the baby girl to me for my inspection. She is beautiful!!! Perfectly formed, pink, peaceful. What a relief this is. Now the work starts to sew me back into shape. Frank and the obstetrician banter back and forth as I begin to feel the needle as it sews me back together. I will have scar tissue the rest of my life. Frank and the doctor seem to be having too much fun here as I lie peacefully basking in my euphoria.

I am shot up with Morphine and moved back into an observation room until the bleeding stops. By midnight I am moved into a temporary room in the Obstetrics Ward. I will be hospitalized for 3 days but I have requested Rooming In where Karin will be put into a drawer bassinette each morning after she is bathed. I will have 16 hour access to my baby while staying in the hospital.

That 1st day I don’t see Karin at all. She has jaundice (apparently a result of the Rh Factor) and they keep her in the nursery. I spend the hours catastrophyzing. I am vaccinated to counter the affect of the Rh blood incompatibility in case I have additional children. Little did I know at that time that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder would effect my decision making in regards to having additional children.

Frank comes to visit and we manage an in depth examination of this perfect child we have made. How delightful and exciting this all is for us. Frank and I are together in a way you cannot imagine. The joy of parenthood kicks in for both of us. I would imagine that this bonding has come about through the sharing of the entire childbirth experience.

I tentatively learn how to nurse my baby, how to feed her, how to diaper her. This is all very scary. The responsibility sometimes feels overwhelming. I’ll be OK.

Karin comes home and motherhood now begins in earnest.

Seen from the Outside

Patricia is Adventurous

A courageous traveler who tours the west with her dogs by her side.
She photographs mountains and old schoolhouses, talks to strangers.
Is not afraid of what currents lie ahead but takes the river as it is.

Patricia is a Storyteller

Of homes in many places, a mosaic of work, art, friendships, family and animals.
She and Merle Haggard went to kindergarten together.
A guitar-playing man in the wilderness sang to her and if you take time to listen, there is more.

Patricia is Seventy

How did this happen? Turn back the blasted clock!

Or:

Observe the strength and bright eyes and the wisdom of age because it is there before you. There IS a wisdom and an opening of the heart and a love of life, of what remains to you -- the fresh road ahead, the books unread, the friends you do not yet know.

And many things the young think they know, but cannot know until this wisdom of age seeps into them, like moonlight, making weeds look like golden stalks of grain. And they begin to talk like us, and begin to treasure each small delightful word from a friend, until they wish with all their hearts to go back.

Written and presented by: Susan Higgins, December 2007