Special Relationships

She was the "Duchess of Desire". Once a HOT number but now lacking libido she could still fantasize about what she might do with a willing and available partner. Too fearful to act on impulse she set some firm boundaries and stuck to them.

They agreed they had a special relationship in spite of a 40 year age difference. They were drawn to each other by the many things they had in common. Home improvements, road trips, errands, meals, movies, literature and conversation filled the time they spent together. It was a warm, comfortable, easy relationship -- like marriage yet without the sex.

"I love your intellect and your compassion for all", she said as they debated the nature/existence of God. “You have wisdom and understanding far beyond your years.”

"Your library is impressive", he remarked as he selected a book to read from while sharing the ‘blessing of the juice’.

"Ready to run some errands?", he asked as he picked up the car keys. "I'm sure we can make an adventure out of our trip to Costco. The coffee shop awaits us and perhaps a quick chess game."

"Star Trek: Wrath of Khan and The Voyage Home arrived today from Net Flix", she informed him, as they drove toward town; "Shall we make it a day for a Double Feature and a special dinner? I have a wonderful recipe for Chinese Chicken Curry from the 1000 Recipe Chinese Cookbook, I guarantee you will be satiated."

Note: Add chicken thighs, celery, onions, carrots, chicken broth and curry powder to the regular list of fish, eggs, organic produce, nuts, that she keeps on the iPhone.

No time today for working on the backyard fence they were rebuilding
together.

Over dinner the conversation invariably shifted to styles of social interaction, "l am sorry, my sweet, but I prefer isolation to all that social networking", she said, as she turned down yet another opportunity he offered her to get out and about. He was clearly frustrated with her stubborn unwillingness to put herself out there. "I really thought you would enjoy the Zen Meditation Group, it's a perfect opportunity for centering yourself and for meeting interesting people", he explained. She had never shared her very real fear that once she got into that cross legged pose and held it for 30 minutes, it would be impossible to pick herself up from the floor.

"Ready for the movies?", he asked as he dried the last dish and put away the cutlery. Now the FILM CRITICS emerged as they evaluated the story line and observed the skill of the writers, actors, director... She had never seen either movie. He had the dialogue memorized.

"William Shatner never fails to amaze me", she said. Since reading his
Autobiography/Memoir over the past two months and discussing his
personality and breadth of talent, they both had a real appreciation of his acting skills. In fact, they organized the Net Flix queue to include all the Star Trek and Boston Legal episodes. "Between Clint Eastwood and William Shatner we've got our available dinner and a movie evenings all set up, I just don't think we will have time to finish what we started," she observed." I'd still like to share with you the experience of Mt Lassen and Mt Shasta from the back of a camera. We could camp out with the dogs and just get away from it all one more time before you leave the country."

His preparation for teaching English in the Ukraine was absorbing more and more of his free time. Add to that his love interest, meeting up with friends, catering and house sitting and the time they could share was becoming shorter and shorter.

He often teased her about her codependency and neediness -- her willingness to make him the ‘center‘ of her Universe. That sexual tension that comes up between male and female respects no age differences. She had used that attraction and the
‘transference’ it produced as a means to work out old issues with the former men in her life. It complicated their close friendship. They sometimes discussed it but he seemed resentful when the issues that surfaced caused her to react with anger. She fully understood what was going on here but failed to communicate it adequately.

"Let's burn some of the old fence wood before I leave", he leaned forward smiling and revealed, “I'll be spending the night with her."

"Get your hand off my knee", said the ‘Duchess’, as she stared reflectively into the fire. “It’s always her, Her, HER!”