June 1969 Delivery

It’s my due date! 9 months of creating this child inside me and I am ready to see just what I have got here.

I sit up in the bed around 7 a.m. Frank is off taking a shower and getting ready for work this fine Tuesday morning. No contractions. Suddenly I hear a strong PING. My water has broken! I call Kaiser as instructed then wait for Frank to get dressed and take me to the hospital. A towel folded between my legs catches the placental fluid (clear water).

I check into one of the labor rooms and the examinations begin. After 3 doctors have completed their roles I am told that I will be scheduled for a Caesarian but the nurse is told to prepare me as usual for a normal delivery. The jovial oversized black nurse jokes with me as she washes me down and shaves off my pubic hair. The head of OB/GYN wants to take a look for himself and after examining me decides that I will have this breach birth normally. “If we can’t do it there is always an opportunity for surgery later”. I am impatient and disappointed that we aren’t just getting this done with right now. I guess the doctors know best.

By 1 p.m. there still haven’t been any contractions so the doctors begin inducing my labor and before long I am angry and combative as I endure the pain of some very strong contractions. I curse the nurse as she asks if I am OK. Frank chides me, ‘it’s not her fault you are in pain’. I respond that she should know better than to ask when I am obviously stressed and in pain.

Before I know it my doctor is at the side of the bed with a needle large enough for a horse filled with the anesthetic that will desensitize my birth canal to the pain of the contractions. He’s brought 5 Stanford Medical students with him for a teaching moment at the foot of the bed in which I lie spread eagled and nakedly exposed for all the witnesses to this occasion. There is no embarrassment.

By 5 p.m. my cervix is fully dilated. They roll me into the Delivery Room. The episiotomy will be extra deep to accommodate a breach delivery. Another huge needle and the cervical anesthetic is delivered. The doctors begin. The baby needs some repositioning to preclude limb breakage and ease the seriousness of this delivery. One doctor# works carefully with a hand inserted into my uterus while the other doctor# stands behind him cheering him on. Possibly he was also offering his assistance. I will never know. Very dramatic, very stressful as Frank mops the sweat from my brow. Through a mirror I can see the delivery as the baby emerges from my womb.

It’s 7 p.m. as she emerges from the birth canal and the Pediatrician# steps from the corner to take charge of the baby. I hold my breath and listen for the 1st cry -- wahhhhhhh… doesn’t sound all that happy to be into the world. They clean her up a bit then hand the baby girl to me for my inspection. She is beautiful!!! Perfectly formed, pink, peaceful. What a relief this is. Now the work starts to sew me back into shape. Frank and the obstetrician banter back and forth as I begin to feel the needle as it sews me back together. I will have scar tissue the rest of my life. Frank and the doctor seem to be having too much fun here as I lie peacefully basking in my euphoria.

I am shot up with Morphine and moved back into an observation room until the bleeding stops. By midnight I am moved into a temporary room in the Obstetrics Ward. I will be hospitalized for 3 days but I have requested Rooming In where Karin will be put into a drawer bassinette each morning after she is bathed. I will have 16 hour access to my baby while staying in the hospital.

That 1st day I don’t see Karin at all. She has jaundice (apparently a result of the Rh Factor) and they keep her in the nursery. I spend the hours catastrophyzing. I am vaccinated to counter the affect of the Rh blood incompatibility in case I have additional children. Little did I know at that time that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder would effect my decision making in regards to having additional children.

Frank comes to visit and we manage an in depth examination of this perfect child we have made. How delightful and exciting this all is for us. Frank and I are together in a way you cannot imagine. The joy of parenthood kicks in for both of us. I would imagine that this bonding has come about through the sharing of the entire childbirth experience.

I tentatively learn how to nurse my baby, how to feed her, how to diaper her. This is all very scary. The responsibility sometimes feels overwhelming. I’ll be OK.

Karin comes home and motherhood now begins in earnest.